Ramen Country
by SomeDeletedAccount
Summary: Naruto sings about his travels to Ramen country.Based off the song Albequerque. Warning: Not for fans who hate seeing other characters get made fun of Or people who like Sasuke or InoThis is my first time working on song lyrics. Be nice, please


Way back when I was an itty bitty ninja boy living alone in a house half a block from the local ramen shop on 21 Jump St.  
You know the place  
Well, anyways life was sweel and juuuuuust **PEACHY!**

Except for the undeniable fact that every single morning,  
I would whip myself up a big bowl of ramen

Ahhhhh- Ramen, ramen, ramen!

It was driving people crazy  
But one day a girl named Ino asked me  
She asked "Hey, Naruto, what's with all the ramen?"  
And my dear, sweet self  
I looked at her just like a freak about to be stabbed in the face with a kunai and I then said  
"It's good, dammit!"  
And then I duct tapped her to a wall and stuck a funnel in her mouth  
And force fed her nothing but ramen until she was 26 and a half years old

That's when I swore that someday  
Someday I would leave this house and go to a magical, far away place  
Where the sun was always shining and the air smells like warm ramen  
And the shurikens are oh so pointy  
Where the emos and the dorks cut themselves all day  
And anyone on the street would gladly do your missions for a nickel

Wacka wacka doodoo yeah

Well, let me tell you people that it wasn't long until my dream came true  
Because the next day a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of women Jiraya couldn't pick up  
I was off by three but I still won the grand prize  
That's right, a first class one-way ticket to

Ramen Country  
Ramen Country

Oh yeahYou know, I've never been on a giant toad before  
And I tell ya- it was pretty great  
Except I had to sit between two large Mist ninja with an excruciatingly severe body odor  
The little kid in back of me kept throwing knives all the time  
The flight attendants ran out of candy and noodles  
And the movie was "How to Fight" with Might Gai  
Oh yeah, and three of the toad's legs got caught  
And he fell into the ground onto a hill side  
And the frog exploded and everybody died!  
Except for me  
You know why?

Cause I had my shadow clones up  
And they protecting me in upright posistion  
I had my shadow clones up  
And they protecting me in upright posistion  
I had my shadow clones up  
And they protecting me in upright posistion

Ah ha ha ha  
Ah ha ha  
Ahhhh

So a crawled from the twisted burnin' wreckage  
I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days  
Draggin' along my leather suitcase and my froggy wallet  
And my Ocarina of Time and my millon-dollar crystal  
And my lucky, lucky, autographed glow-in-the-dark night cap  
But finally I arrived in the world famous Ramen Country Holiday Inn  
Where the shurikens are oh so pointy  
You can eat your ramen out of the dirty cups of you wanna  
It's okay- they're clean

Well I checked into my room and I turned down the A/C  
And I turned on the spectravision  
And I was just about to eat that little chocolate candy bar on my pillow that I love so very, very much  
When suddenly, there's a knock on my door  
Well now, who could that be?

I say, "Who is it?"  
No answer  
"Who _is_ it?"  
There's no answer  
"WHO IS IT?!"  
They're not saying anything so I throw a kunai through the door

So, finally, I go over and rip open the door and just as I expected  
It's a big fat Akimichi guy with a wild haircut and (thanks to me) only one eye  
Ohhhh mean, I hate it when I'm right  
Anyways, he bursts into my room and grabs my lucky night cap  
And I'm like, "Hey, you can't take that!"  
"That night cap's been just like a night cap to me!"  
And he's like, "Tough."  
And I'm like, "Give it."  
And he's like, "Make me."  
And I'm like, "Bring it on fat boy, I'm gonna roll you downtown!"  
So I grab his leg, and he grabbed hy nose  
And I bit off his belly button and he chewed off my ears  
And I took out his kidney and he gave me a colonic irrigation  
Whatever the heck that is  
And somehow in the middle of it all, a bird got knocked off the window  
And twenty seconds later, I heard a familliar voice  
And you know what it said?  
I'll tell ya what it said

It said  
"Squak, squak, squak!"  
"Chirp chirp squak squak squak!"  
"Squak, squak, squak!"  
"Chirp chirp squak squak!"

In Ramen Country  
Ramen Country

Well, to cut a long story short he got away with my night cap  
But it was then that I made a solemn vow that I would not rest  
I would not sleep for an instant until the (Thanks to me) one-eyed man had his second kidney taken out  
But first I wanted some ramen

So I got on my shoes and I ran over to the ramen shop  
And I ran to the counter and the man asked  
"Yeah, whaddya want?"  
I say, "Do you have any oriental flavored ramen?"  
He says, "NO! We're out of oriental flavored!"  
I say, "Do you have any chicken flavored?"  
He says, "NO! We're out of chicken flavored!"  
I say, "Do you have any shrimp flavored?"  
He says, "NO! We're out of shrimp flavored!"  
I say, "Do you have any pork flavored?"  
He says, "NO! We're out of pork flavored!"  
I say, "Do you have any Mushroom flavored?"  
He says, "NO! We're out of Mushroom flavored!"  
I say, "Do you have any Beef flavored?"  
He says, "Wait a minute, I'll go check  
"NO! We're out of Beef flavored!"  
I say, "Well in that case- in that case, what do you have?"  
He says, "All I got right now is this box of one dozen raging bulls."  
I said, "Okay, I'll take that."

So he hands me the box and I open the lid and a dozen bulls jump outAnd they see the red on my back and they start freaking out!  
Oh man, it was a load of bull!  
They were tearing me apart!  
You know, I think it was about that time that a little diddy started going through my head  
And it sounded a little something like this...

Gaa!  
Get'em off me!  
Get'em off me!  
Gaa!  
It's not supposed to bend like that!  
My god  
My GOD!  
Gaa!

So I run out into the street with all these bulls stabbing their horns through me  
Waving my arms all around in the air  
Just like Rock Lee after he thought he could fly  
And with all my luck, I saw the girl of my dreams  
Her name was Sakura Haruno  
She was a emo kid enthusiast with a slight tendancy to shout the names of boys every two seconds and hair like pink paint  
I'll never forget the first things she said to me  
She said, "Hey, that looks like it hurts."

That's when I knew it was true love!  
We were inseprable after that  
Aw, we ate together, we bathed together  
We even shared the same forks  
The world was our broth in the cup of ramen  
So I forced her into marriage and bought us a big blue house  
We even had two beautiful children: Nathaniel and Spiderman  
And we (Or at least, I) were so very, very happy

But the one faithful night, Sakura said to me  
She said, "Naruto, would you like to join the Uchiha fan club?"  
I said, "Woah, hold on now, baby."  
"I'm just not ready to worship another guy yet."  
So we broke up and I never saw her again  
But that's just the way things go

In Ramen Country  
Ramen Country

Anyways, things really started lookin' up to me  
Because a week later I finally achieved my lifelong dream  
That's right, a part time job at the ramen shop!  
I even made employee of the month when I put out that grease fire with summoned frogs  
Ah, yeah everyone was pretty jealous of me after that  
I was getting a lot of atttude

Okay, like one time I was in the back lot  
Tryin' to remove my excess earwax with the back of my knife when I see this guy Sasuke trying to lug this huge weapon up the stairs  
So I, I say to him, I say, "Hey, you want me to help you with that?"  
And Sasuke, he just rolls his eyes and says  
"No, I want you to cut my wrists with a chainsaw."

So I did

And then he starts crying on me  
He's like, "Hey, man, that's not cool. I was being sarcastic."  
Well, he's welcome!  
But how was I supposed to know that?  
I'm not psychic, for the Hokage's sake  
Besides, now he's got a really cute nickname- "Cut Man"!  
So what's he complaining about?

Say, this reminds me of another little story  
This guy comes up to me on the street and says to me that he's never had a bite in three days  
Well, I knew what he meant but just to be funny, I take a big bite out of his jugular vain  
And he's yelling and bleeding and screaming all over  
And I'm like, "Uumm, is there a problem?"  
But he keeps rolling around the sidewalk in a bloody mess  
You know, I don't think he's getting it  
Some people just can't take a joke

Anyways, where was I?  
Okay, listen, I . . . lost my train of thought just now

Anyways  
I know this is kinda weird to say but the truth is, all I'm really trying to say is  
**I  
HATE  
INO**

That's all I'm really trying to say  
And by the way, if you're ever finding out that life sucks  
And ruined with the pain and the idea that yours sucks especially like Sasuke's  
There's still a little bit in this place of ours  
And it's called

Ramen Country  
Ramen Country

Ramen Country, Ramen Country  
Ramen Country, Ramen Country  
Ramen Country, Ramen Country  
Ramen Country, Ramen Country

I said "R"  
"O"  
"M"  
"I"  
"E"  
"N"  
Uumm, "Country."

Ramen Country, Ramen Country, Ramen Country, Ramen Country  
Ramen Country, Ramen Country, Ramen Country, Ramen Country  
Ramen Country, Ramen Country, Ramen Country, Ramen Country  
Ramen Country


End file.
